i've thought long and hard about my resolutions this year. honestly, i've never actually completed a resolution. i think that's pretty common haha. but i feel different about this year. mostly because i feel different about my post partum experience. there was a meme on facebook the other day that had a whole bunch of words just scrolling through quick enough to where you couldn't really read it. and the top said, "what will you manifest in 2017?" and you were supposed to screenshot it and see what you ended up with.  i ended up with CONFIDENCE. and that could not have been more perfect!

i struggle with confidence. always have. there have been spurts of more confident times, for sure, but after having kids, my confidence has REALLY struggled. this pregnancy was a little weird though. i actually felt more confident pregnant, than i did before i got pregnant. i think that part of that was that i started getting eyelash extensions pretty early in my pregnancy, and those made a huge difference for me. convenience wise, obviously, because mascara is the most annoying part of my make up routine, but also makes the biggest difference. but i also felt like it helped my face look skinnier. whether that's true or not, i'll never know. but that was what i saw when i looked in the mirror. the other reason that i felt more confident is because i was exercising 4-5x/week regularly, and i only gained 19 lbs this pregnancy (i gained 47 with benson). i was overall healthier this time around, so i know that made a big difference in my confidence. but now that i don't have a baby in my belly, my confidence is starting to struggle again. i've gone back and forth with whether i should keep my lash extensions or not, and it has been a serious dilemma for me! which is so petty and should not be a big deal (#firstworldproblems, am i right?). but i honestly feel like i am going to look so fat without them. ridiculous! i know! like i said. a serious lack of confidence is going on. so that's my first resolution. to be comfortable and confident at least 90% of the time. which leads me to my next resolution.

weight loss. tyyyyypical, i know. but i am lighter now than i was when i got pregnant, and i want to keep that going. ideally, i'd like to lose about 18 lbs, but my pre-first pregnancy weight is 13 lbs away, and i feel like thats more of a realistic number for me. that being said, i don't want to be so focused on a number on the scale that i go crazy. so i am only weighing myself once a month, and i'm gauging my success on things like, my work out pants no longer make me lumpy, and i can run 1.5 miles without stopping. i was so much more consistent with working out when i was pregnant, and i think that's because i knew i couldn't lose weight, so i did it for my health, and to keep my GD in check. so now, if i focus on the health benefits of working out and eating right, instead of how many lbs i'm losing, i think i will be able to stick with it better.

my next resolution is to dance again. i've been petrified to go back to dance ever since having benson. mostly because i was in such rough shape and even walking at a normal pace was hard for a long time. but i've got more strength now, so i feel okay about it! i'm just nervous to see what i look like in dance clothes haha. again, petty and shallow but i can't help it!

now for non-cliche news, perry is 6 weeks old! actually 7 weeks as of tomorrow. she's been a dream. fairly predictable, only waking up 1-2 times a night. starting to give us responsive smiles. hasn't thrown up in a long time, but i've cut out dairy and i think that's what has made the difference. benson still loves her so we are all in good shape!