perry has officially been part of our lives for one week! it's flown by. its so weird when you have kids, because leading up to their birth, you stress about what life will be like when they arrive. how will you adjust? is it just going to be insanely hard? how am i going to function at all? i pretty much had the same fears with benson that i did with perry, with the exception of - how is benson going to handle not being an only child?!

well, i'm proud to say that benson has handled it way better than i could've ever hoped! the day after perry was born, my mom brought benson to the hospital. the door opened, and the first thing benson did was point to the bassinet by the window (kacey was there taking pictures), gasp, and yell while running to her, "baby!" then he hopped up on the couch and immediately started pointing out features. "nose. eyes. mouth. cheeks." it was seriously the sweetest thing, and only lasted about a minute because then he caught sight of our lunch that we hadn't eaten yet, haha. but he has woken up with that same enthusiasm every day since coming home. i always hear him running down the hallway saying, "ba jer? ba jer?" which somehow translates to baby sister, haha, then when he doesn't see her in her rock n play, he looks for her on the bed, then climbs up and either tells her to wake up if she's sleeping, or gives her a kiss on the head if she's awake. he always wants to help with her, whether its grabbing diapers, trying to help change her diapers, giving her blankets, bringing her from the swing to the couch, literally anything. he has such an intense love for his sister, and it makes my mama heart swell. benson and perry forever! haha

we left the hospital as soon as we could, haha, so right after she passed her 24 hour assessments, we were out of there. the first night was stressful - my milk hadn't come in yet and i swear that girl just wanted to eat! finally around 4 am i got her into a good deep sleep, and i was able to sleep for 3 hours, but i was pooooped the next day. luckily my milk came in sometime in the middle of the night the next day, and it's been smooth sailing from there... for the most part anyways haha. but she does 3-4 hour stretches at night, and occasionally she'll throw in a 6 hour stretch (holler!). she's staying awake a little longer every day, and is constantly changing. i am so blessed to get to be her mama.

as far as i go, i've been doing great. my recovery has been crazy good, it's hard to imagine that i was barely started to get around the house without my walker at this point with benson. every day is a little better in pretty much every department. i went to target today. to target! i just put perry in my wrap and she snoozed through the whole store, it was awesome. the first night mat left me to go to band practice i had a couple good cries haha (thanks baby blues), but since then i've been pretty emotionally stable. i've cried a couple times putting benson to bed, mostly because he always wants you to stay in there longer with him so he doesn't have to go to sleep, and it has unhinged my hormonal self. the first time i put him to bed after perry arrived, i had to finally leave his room bc perry was crying, and he kept saying, "ma! no go!" and i seriously lost it haha. i was crying as i grabbed perry to feed her, and i had to explain to mat that i didn't want benson to feel like i was choosing perry over him. i don't know if benson's brain really works that way, but seriously, i died a little inside having to leave him to tend to his sister. but like i said, every day is a little better haha. i've been so lucky to have mat home with me. we've pretty much divided and conquered the last week - i make sure perry is taken care of, he makes sure benson is taken care of. it has helped so much having him home for more than just a week. the bummer part is that come december, i won't see him for 2 solid weeks, so i really need to take advantage while i can, not just of his help, but being able to spend time with him too.

my mind has already started to think of goals for myself once i'm cleared to work out again. my problem is that i don't want to focus on the scale, buuuut how do i make definitive goals without some kind of number to aspire to? i feel like aspiring to a size is essentially the same as a weight, so i'll have to think about how i want to approach this. mat and i agreed we'd have no soda for a month after thanksgiving (i haven't had soda since i had perry, so this is mostly for mat haha), and i have promised myself that this coming monday, i will start watching what i eat. you better believe i've been eating whatever the heck i want since having perry haha. might not be the best strategy, but i don't care! give me all the sweets! until monday. no sweets after monday haha.

here are some of the shots kacey got in the hospital. i'll tell you what, having a photographer in the family is awesome. especially when she's amazing haha. one day i'll hone in my skills and be as good as kacey.